Some of My Clients and the Dreams They've REalized
A Good Life is About Being You!
Over the years I’ve mentored a wide variety of people. I have helped many people be, do, achieve and become all kinds of things, but the most important thing is to be, do and achieve becoming yourself. Because if you have not done that first, then who are you as the doer of things?
A good life is about being you!
Here are some of the dreams that people have been called to that I’ve helped them materialize:
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In dealing with organizations, businesses and corporations, issues arise in defeating, limiting or blocking choice—choice being the chief causal agent to optimize success. These issues can involve disputes that are emotionally ego-based and not an appropriate part of the choosing process. A neutral third party can intervene to bring the group back to focusing on the choices at hand and revitalize a stalled negotiation. Breaking the ego lock is always a balancing act. When human nature hits the process, we can drop down to our lowest common denominator. Having a neutral third party intervene to bring the negotiators back to a higher form of reasoning is the most efficient and productive way to process anything. We are all very human; and much like digging trenches in a war zone when we become afraid, we stake out our ground. Having someone wave a white flag can resume a failing negotiation and gets everyone involved to understand what is really going on, because when the intensity hits, not much is understood except for the fear that everyone is feeling but will not admit to. In most of these situations an understanding of an agreement to disagree is not in place. Without this implemented, there can be no consecutive progress toward resolution. With understanding, a failing negotiation can be turned around.
There are critical stages of development in all business endeavors. A mentor who understands these patterns can present information about why an issue is coming up now. All businesses have a personality like a living individual. All the stages that come up for people around success and perceived failure are the same for businesses. (A new profession on the horizon is corporate psychology: hiring a counselor to be present in the boardroom). They are so similar that they are predictable in the same way. A mentor sometimes does not need to hear all of what is going on. They will listen to verify an assumption. But if they know the cycles, they can predict what will be coming up and when. They already know. What appears to be a major issue is just part of the evolutionary package. Having this explained can empower, because it is just a milestone on the road and not the end of everything. Most failures in this regard are the result of not seeing this and not being able to see beyond it. A set of decisions is made in the present without regard for the future when this is behind as an issue. As a result it ends unnecessarily where it's currently at. Even after this point, a mentor can sometimes resurrect and reverse the situation. This is also why it is a good idea to check in with a mentor, even when things are going great, because they can always be going better! It usually takes someone outside of our pattern to see where we are on our journey. This is true for businesses as well as people. It is a journey.
So we can become lost or guided to discovering great fortune! Sometimes great fortunes as well as dangers can be pointed out to us that we cannot see right in front of us. This is not determined by what we are or are not looking at, but by how we are or are not looking at it! In most cases it's being too subjective or too objective. The lack of balance, or not being able to switch between these two realities, causes us to believe inaccurately that we are lost (or found) on our journey.
Services I provide for corporations include:
- Being the person invited into the boardroom who provides a view that is actually outside the boardroom box
- Interpreting the viability of advertising and marketing campaigns
- Interpreting whether your sales team is selling at their optimum capacity or are there internal conflicts that may be limiting them achieving maximum sales
Basically, I'm a one-person think tank: I've gone head to head with some major think tanks and this sounds kind of bizarre, but I've out-thought them! This has a lot to do with spontaneously being able to validate and verify research information that strategies are based on. I can tell really, really quickly that something doesn't make sense and is not viable, I can come up with a competing theory and strategy, and I can help implement it. There are two ways to do this: first of all I identify where the holes are in the existing strategy and second I explain how and where and why these holes exist and get all of the participants who might be emotionally connected to these procedures to approach the possibility that something new and different may be more effective.
Of all of the different aspects of being human, the artistic aspect is one of the most profound because art expresses our internal landscape into an external manifestation of physical, visual and auditory representation in the world. Art is a fundamental and unique human expression of “This is me, this is who I am.” Sadly, if our parents were not supported and allowed to express their art, then they cannot support their children in expressing their artistic selves to the world. As a result of this the world has lots and lots of unrequited artists. How I know this to be true is because in one form or another we are all artists. Remember back to a time when someone handed you a piece of paper and crayons. Manifesting art was as easy as breathing. For lots of us the disconnect with art happened and our artistic self was lost. There is nothing that can connect you, calm you, excite you, relax you or bring you into the here and the now as that moment when you are making connections with your art. It has been my privilege throughout my counseling and my mentoring career to help artists discover and refine their artistic selves and ultimately their artistic expression. We hear cliché statements like life is art, or that art imitates life, but I am here to tell you that life and art are one and the same. So it would be my privilege to help you connect and bring forth your internal artist in whatever artistic endeavor you are attempting. I always make the assumption that everyone is an unrequited artist in some form or another. We have a limited time here in this life, and you are here to express the art of your life.
I’ve helped all kinds of people open up all kinds of businesses and partnerships. I’ve guided them through the transition from their current job into launching their entrepreneurship. I’ve helped them to write letters to obtain resources, grants and acquire financing. I’ve coached them in how to ask for and receive the resources that they will need for their enterprise, and if need be, I have accompanied them to any meetings that are necessary for them to become an entrepreneur. I’ve been there at the moment they’ve received their business license, and the moment when they’ve made their first sale. Businesses I’ve mentored my clients into opening include (but are not limited to):
I’ve helped executives in many ways, primarily how get promoted to the career position that is meaningful to them in the corporate structure. Corporate structures for some strange reason are often more interested in hiring and promoting from outside of their company than promoting from within. I have helped numerous executives build cases to convince the hiring team to promote them rather than hire from outside. I’ve helped my clients get the job instead of having my clients have to train an outside person to do the job that my client is already qualified to do.
Interview Preparation for All Types of Businesses
Interviews are an important gateway for everything in life. You may not think about it in this way, but proposing marriage to someone is actually an interview! I have helped people prepare for all kinds of interviews including: asking for loans, job interviews, grants, internal company advancement interviews, convincing a board room of people to consider a major proposal, convincing a college to accept you even though the application date has expired (as far as I’m concerned nothing has an expiration date if you know how to ask the right way), and yes, asking for someone’s hand in marriage.
I’ve helped many musicians devise alternative marketing plans to get their music out to the general population. Most of the industry channels are only available to a handful of musicians in the industry, so I’ve had to devise ways in which music clients can develop their own followings in the absence of having unlimited music corporation funds. I have also helped musicians determine what genre they were in to determine their best target market to get their music out there. I’ve evaluated their stage performance and helped them modify it to attract the largest possible audience—this is very different than choreography—humans have a herd mentality and there are many things that we can unconsciously do out of fear or other reasons that we ourselves and the audience are not consciously aware of that can make or break the connection between the performer and the audience. This is not about molding or shaping their image, it’s about helping them to allow themselves to be more of who they truly are—unleashing their true, unique artistic self. For some reason a lot of people think that when you are doing public performance that there’s an inherent need for it to be artificial. My experience has been is that it needs to be real, but that being real in front of lots of people can be very scary and once the fear is present, the connection between the performer and the audience is gone. As a performer, we can’t see ourselves in the world, so it’s very important to have someone we trust who sees us and relates back to us how our performance is coming across.
People About to Retire
I’ve helped people determine that they’ve arrived at that place in life when it is time to retire and transition from lifelong careers into fulfilling the dreams that they have harbored for many years that were precluded by their work life. Sometimes in life our dreams have to be postponed because they are perceived as impractical to support us financially. So we choose to do something other than our dreams to support ourselves. When time for retirement has arrived this affords an opportunity to re-explore and ignite dreams that were previously seen as impractical. This can be difficult because we may have forgotten over the years what our dreams are; or the habitual behaviors that came with the career that we supported ourselves with may still be so strong that trying to fulfill our dreams can be difficult. In short, we may have to change the way we think and feel about a lot of things to create the mindset to rekindle unrequited and still-harbored dreams. Many people try to switch from a working context to a dream-fulfilling context on their own, and cannot accomplish it--it's necessary to have someone who's outside of the situation to help guide you out. The same is true for people who have done a specific career for years that they do not like. Unless you have a guided transitional period it is highly probable and more than likely that you will recreate the same set of circumstances that you are trying to escape from and end up right back where you started. It's interesting that we can be motivated to work in a career that does not suit us or that we don't like, and then when we're given the opportunity to do what we want, we can't stay motivated because we can't shift into the new context. Having a mentor help you make this shift removes a lot of pressure and makes the whole issue of retirement easier. You have financial planners who help you figure out your money for retirement--doesn't it make sense to have a planner who helps you figure out your life as a retiree so that it feels fulfilling?
As with musicians, I’ve helped public speakers evaluate their speeches in order for them to have the most impact and connectedness with their audience. And again, I’ve helped them to be more real, and thus deliver the most authentic presentation of their topics.
In this day and age, making the decision to become a student can be a difficult choice. First of all, most of us are going to have to have more than one vocation during the course of our lives. Secondly, the cost incurred and the length of time it may take to repay the debt on any college loans that you obtain for school is a major economic and energetic committment. Let’s talk about vocation. Trying to figure out a vocation, or in other words, a destiny, in regards to a career is a very difficult thing to do. It requires a lot of self-understanding, and knowing who you are at this point in your life, and knowing who you will become as you go through the process of life. So a lot of reflection is involved, and a lot of research. For some of us, this will be a very difficult scenario because an awful lot of what we’re going to be working at has not even been invented yet. Inevitably, due to environmental, economic and political issues, the world as we know it is going to have to go through a massive transition. A lot of work that people are doing right now will not exist in the near future, and a lot of work that is only in someone’s imagination is going to come into reality. So figuring out school is going to be intense. The steps for helping guide you through this unusual labyrinth of change involves helping you figure out who you are based upon your specific talents and gifts, what you’d feel like you’d want to do, and then also trying to guess what the future will hold. As far as the monetary part, I’ve helped many students keep the cost of education down by acquiring funding for college studies that are available to the general population but not necessarily advertised. This is important considering that at a minimum you might have to go to college twice in your life.
How this planet ends up having nine billion people in existence is absolutely astounding to me considering how we go about courtship and the methods we use to court. For some reason the whole of our planet is under the opinion that courtship is an inherently known ability. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to learn how to drive a car, you have to learn how to speak, you have to learn your profession—so wouldn’t logic dictate that you might have to learn how to court? This is not about turning you into somebody you’re not, nor is it about creating someone with undue influence over the opposite sex. This is about you being you in the courtship process. Considering that when you meet someone and you start a relationship with them that this could result in you making radical geographic location changes and leaving friends behind and making a whole set of new ones, making career changes, and having children, it stands to reason that since dating is where all this starts—you need to be good at it! Good at it being: putting yourself forward so that you feel confident and comfortable in yourself throughout the process, and dealing with any fear and uncertainty. The beginning of anything tells us an awful lot about how things will end. I think the notion that we are inherently capable of courtship has a lot to do with the current 50-75% relationship failure rate in the U.S. Most of us learned how to date in our teenage years and do not advance our skills beyond that. Do you really want to use the skill set of a teenager to create a lifelong relationship? I can help you hone your dating skills to accurately assess the desire of your affection, and also to help you accurately assess yourself as the person who is pursuing the desire of your affection. Love, without a doubt, is one of the most powerful drugs that we humans can get our hands on. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone outside guide us and be a sounding board when we are under the influence of love.
The unfortunate reality about relationships, especially in the USA, is that we have an exceptionally high separation rate. If you find yourself at that point where you have decided to start questioning whether or not you want to remain in the relationship that you currently have, as a mentor I can help you evaluate whether your relationship is viable or whether it is time to move on. If you have decided that it's time to move on, I can help you with this process. There are a lot of emotional pitfalls associated with the end of a relationship. Many of these are the province of a psychotherapist. However, an advocate such as a mentor can be a huge help in the actual structural part of ending a relationship. It's like any other project—it will need a plan of action created that is adjustable to accommodate the fact that there are two parties, often vying for the same interest. The strategy-structure will have to be broken down into small units and then these units will have to be resolved sequentially to bring about the end result, which is a successful divorce (if married) or separation (if not married). I am often asked how the mentoring service differs from psychotherapy. One of the first differences that stands out is generally a psychotherapist does not accompany you to your attorney's office to help you choose a divorce attorney—a mentor does. Generally psychotherapists don't accompany their clients to a settlement mediation for a divorce—a mentor does. A mentor can help you evaluate what possessions you really want to hold on to or which ones you want to let go. Having an advocate that's around who understands the lay of the land and has been down this road with many clients is very beneficial. If you are working with a psychotherapist, they are going to focus on emotional support. Your attorney handles the legal aspects. I as your mentor will keep you on point for the tasks at hand, help you get and stay organized, help you understand the steps, and get the transition accomplished. When you consider the emotional distress and the cost of ending a relationship, it's really helpful to have a mentor to expedite the process.